one thousand gifts

one thousand gifts:

November 25, 2011 to January 16, 2012
0076/1000

1) Brothers, sons, below Him and His grace!

2) The anonymous gift of mulch 

for our church playground.

3) Sick baby, chill of his juice, and tears. 

Tantrums a grace warning that it's not just a common cold.

4) At the moment when your at your wits end after spending 

two days with a sick temper tantrum child; remembering your 

personal prayer for patience and hearing, "and I, find myself 

here on my knees again, caught up in grace like an avalanche, 

nothing compares to this love..." Thank you, Father, thank you!

5) The moment a hug begins, and you know you have an amazing 

thing in your arms, a person made in the image of God!

6) Handsome Smith and his updated picture...

7) Quiet morning... The soothing of a pacifier and baby; 

my baby letting me hold to the tunes of lullabies.

8) Libraries- They have walls of creativity and knowledge!

9) Two mornings in a row being asked to please 

stay in bed to cuddle from Logan. I'm game!

10) The older teaching the younger...

11) A wall of past, present, & future LOVE!

12) A friend coming on her day off to bring me 

coffee and a husband making breakfast...

13) Children's Department Christmas Party and 

walking through our Advent lessons.

14) Our kiddos

15) It finally grew back *5 yr old humor*

16) Sewing a wiseman costume for a wee one, 

thankful for my aunts' teaching me this family trade

17) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast

18) Calm of the night, slow of the breath, joy in my heart.

19) My boys lying on my side of the bed, snuggled, 

watching Bob & Larry... What an honor to be their mom!

20) The moments when my rambunctious temper tantrum filled baby becomes 

quiet in awe of God's creation. It was a moment of incredible grace!

21) Loving his time with papa, missing our sick CooCoo

22) Breakfast with two of my boys.

23) Logan watching and listening to "Galaxies" 

saying, "it's good song!"

24) Choosing to see Him everyday- 

joy, thanksgiving, peace, grace abound!

25) Shapes- discovering, imaging, creativity

26) Creating prayer cards for Luka. Teaching 

while learning myself to diligently pray!

27) He makes me laugh.

28) Precooking and freezing my meals cuts 

dinner cooking time to 5 minutes!

29) His hands

30) no caption needed for this gift

31) Lazy, precious, always content with her momma.

32) Learning with friends

33) gathering together

34) imagining

35) becoming what you imagine

36) Building the mind

37) sharing

38) eating with friends

39) Books

40)  A letter written by a boy countries away to 
my boy, the start of a beautiful relationship!

41)  Using his bath towel as a blanket. Comfort, warmth...

42) F ever warning, body forcing to the bed, now sitting on my 
lap hugging like he when he was a baby. Precious moment!

43)  He's ready for bed. Thanksgiving in a bed 
and room he can call his own!


44) 88 keys to play a tune


45) the crisp of Bible pages


46) smell of bread out of the bag


47) hot water- it's process


48) welcoming front door


49) the sound of the awake


50) two year old warning signs


51) caring doctor


52) committed mom 


53) a compassionate five year old


54) my new found patience level


55) my honesty


56) my ability to love


57) Luk sharing love


58) Logan accepting love


59) Reson's "worker bee" mind


60) Logan understanding


61) Logan taking medicine calmly


62) Luk caring for Logan


63) morning with no migraine 


64) Reson's listening


65) warm house


66) the smell of work


67) enough, Lord, just enough


68) peanut butter and jelly


69) soft bed


70) letters sent with love


71) caring pastor and wife


72) organization

73) prayerful husband

74) brothers/friends

75) the mess from the day

76) the stack of homeschool folders

Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, friendship, and life together by Mark & Grace Driscoll Book Review

The new book "Real Marriage" by Mark and Grace Driscoll is an in depth book about some of the hard truths in marriage. The idea is that we must submit, end selfishness, and trust another human being with every aspect of our hearts. This of course seems like an impossibility in a fallen world; but when putting Christ in the forefront of your marriage the impossible becomes a reality. The couple targets friendship, abuse, sex, and truth in a real marriage, while seeking to help the warped marriage idea of America today.

For the Book Sneeze "My Reaction" go to the end.

The book divides into three parts:
- MARRIAGE
- SEX
- THE LAST DAY

For a person who learned through her parents that friendship is key in a marriage, my favorite chapter in the book is chapter two, "Friends with Benefits." I think this simple fact gets thrown out the window in today's society, and working with the youth of today, a main reason they use to not date someone is because they will NEVER date a friend. I suggest this is a bad philosophy to practice, and the Driscolls do a great job reiterating why this is so important to a marriage. The idea behind the chapter is seeing people marry that weren't even in love, but came together after marriage and steward a friendship unbreakable. The friendship opens door for love, companionship, fun, and a truth that other marriages lack.

The Marriage portion of the book encourages friendship, challenges men to stop being boys and be men, and encourages women to not see submissiveness and respect for a husband as weak, but rather attractive and commendable. They work out woman who suffer from sexual abuse, men that battle depression and anger issues, and in the last chapter "Taking Out the Trash" suggest that being real with your spouse creates healing, bonding, and understanding.

The second portion begins a new era for "sex talk" in the Christian church. I remember thinking that "S-e-x" was not something we talked about out loud, or the teacher would go insane over the word. However, we see Mark and Grace attack this word unashamedly knowing that people ARE talking about it. They know the controversy that lies behind many sexual taboos, and they hit many with these three questions in the most controversial book chapter 10:
- Is it Lawful?
- Is it Helful?
- Is it Enslaving?

The third and last portion creates a large application for a marriage. What will your last day of marriage look like? The first is a bang with partying, dresses, cake, and family, but how will it end? There is an in depth questionnaire that follows.

MY REACTION:
I could say that there was a scripture that I really wished they would have talked of more (Ephesians 5- The body of Christ, Christ (bridegroom) and the church (His bride), but really if you want a great theological review look to Denny Burk. I see his points, I agree with many, but I do think that I would recommend the book to couples as a chapter-by-chapter marriage study. I would also see the maturity level of each individual couple before recommending. There are people with different backgrounds, struggles, and sexual knowledge, however I believe in talking through books like this not avoiding them strictly because of one chapter.  The tenth chapter does give headings to each sexual act talked of, and can easily be skipped if the couple chooses to do so. The book was encouraging, given much thought, and is gospel-driven. The Driscolls church at the highest non-churched city in the U.S., they hear unimaginable questions, and they strive to answer and deal with this type of congregation with much love and hard truth. The book should be looked at in this light, too. I think it will help many, but can see were Denny thinks it can hurt others. Again, you and your spouse know your relationship, your Christian walk maturity, so before reading, pray about it. If you don't know Mark, read his biography, listen to some of his sermons, you will quickly learn he is not a sugar coating pastor. You can learn for yourself if you will even be interested in any book he writes. This goes the same for if you aren't a fan of Francis Chan (what?!) or David Platt (huh?!), you know the writer, you know their voice, determine if the read will benefit you or not. I enjoyed it, found parts difficult to read, but overall found that the couple's heart is to encourage, help, and teach scripture truthfully in an area so widely ignored!

You can get the book at The Resurgence - the proceeds through buying here goes to the church ministry not the Driscolls.

One Word 2012

Do you have a theme for the upcoming year? A single word that you focus on to transform your thought... your moment...

Joy

I have chosen this word because seeking joy in this life is a challenge. We are immersed in materialism, when owning things is far more important than the truth behind that mentality. However, it is highly possible to find joy when you look to the right things. The joy is found in His words, His promise.

There have been two experiences in my life that have helped me better SEE that the Gospel is all I need to find JOY:
1) reading "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp 
2) meeting Smith (part 1/part 2)

In reading Ann's book, I learned to focus, to SEE all my gifts (good and bad), view it, SEE it all as grace, and it is through this that thanksgiving comes and produces joy. Yet, it was in meeting Smith that he taught me what true joy meant. It's hard to explain, really. Just look.

SEE!

A squatter home on the top of a very steep hill... joy

four walls with tarp roof, no floor... joy

a sponsor for his sister, her daughter... joy

a simple sinner living a selfish life in the United States giving sacrificially because really he is mine, she is mine, they are mine... joy

It was a moment of complete humility that joy surrounded my heart, and has still to leave. SEEing the gospel, the love of God play out in a developing country, and knowing that apart of my family is living in joy brings joy. You see poverty is a lack of hope. My boy, my girl, my Peruvian sister don't lack hope anymore! Compassion gives me this opportunity to seek a joy I didn't know I could have, and it gives my beautiful family the opportunity to experience joy.

The year has begun, where do you find your joy? It was through the word of God that I found You see through the gospel, loving my brothers and sisters, giving, diligently praying, and seeking His will brings an ultimate joy. A joy that is unexplainable. A joy that is found in floorless roofless house. A joy that is found in the midst of heart ache. A joy that stays embedded in your inner most self no matter the circumstances.

The word of God spreading to the nations because all joy comes from His love, His sacrifice, His omnipotence.

A year of Joy! Do you SEE it!?

I Celebrate the Day

It's the music in the background playing as he lays to sleep that captivates my heart. The song has played in our car numerous years as my husband's Christmas favorite, yet for the first time as I sing it to my baby I begin to whimper in the dark room.

The piano begins striking me as usual, but this time the words hit me harder than usual. God, are you seeing me as the same from last year. I would say, "no!" You have chipped away at parts of me that I didn't want chipped. You have plucked things out from me that I would have preferred left in. You even tore down walls around my heart that I give thanksgiving for. The walls of misunderstanding, the walls of naivety to what I assumed, and You gave me a new heart for a people I didn't really know I could have.

I learned to throw away my perceptions on appearances, on love, on gratitude... on joy.

It has been a year of transformation in my life and with new convictions surfacing over moments. One of the greatest thanks is giving me a husband so full of understanding and sensitivity to these changes in my heart.

Was it the words of what You realized?

And the first time, that You opened your eyes

Did you realize that You would be my Savior

And the first breath, that left Your lips

Did You know that it would change this world forever

The words create a lump in my throat because I wonder, what did He fully know that night? Did He fully comprehend His fully man, fully God nature? Did He know that night?

Did He?

Every night reading scripture leading up to this moment God's plan was so divine, so holy, so planned. From the beginning before He was born from the virgin He knew that He would come down to be the ultimate sacrifice, but once placed here on the earth did He know? What does a fully man/fully God nature know at infancy? I believe He knew because the favor of God was upon Him.

However, those were not the part of the song that got me weeping on my nearly asleep two year old. It was the sound of sleigh bells, the strokes of the keys, and these words:

To look back and think that

This baby would one day save me

In the hope that what You did

That you were born so that I might really live

To look back and think that 

This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day 

That You were born to die

So I could one day pray for You to save my life

We forget. We read scripture of Christ as a man, and we forget that HE IS MAN! He was tempted; He was a laborer; He had friends; He had brothers; He was PERFECT! He came as a baby. Even though his parents knew what he would become they still did not understand who HE really was. He is, I AM!

It's hard to imagine that I celebrate the day that He was born to die so that I could pray for Him to cleanse me from my sin, so that I could pray for Him to save me from myself. I proclaim my observation of this day. It's not about a man in a red suit eating cookies and milk. No, I celebrate a day that God came down fully man/fully God to trade his righteousness for shame. This is truth. It is a truth that makes me weep over my baby. I weep over the words that make me remember.

God continue to mold me into your imagine. Forgive me for not remembering. Thank you for your grace, your mercy, your love! You are holy; You are just; You are GOD!

If you haven't heard this song, here it is:

Last Christmas I gave you a net...

I remember this time last year reading, praying, and wanting to change my life during the Christmas season. I was sick of the hustle and bustle of gift giving, angry people, and just the loss of focus that materialism had on me, friends, family, and those surrounding me.

It was a time for change.

It was a time for action.

I glanced at the wall in my living room smiling at my boys...

I remember swooping Luk into my arms, sitting on the couch, and starting browsing our catalog.

"What do you think? We could do a cow?

Or two goats?

Or we could do 10 nets? What do you think?"

"What else is there?"

"School supplies, immunizations (shots), helping start a new business"

"I think we should do nets."

"Why do you want to do the nets?" (I was secretly hoping for the small business launch for moms.)

"Well, I don't like being bit by mosquitos. It gets itchy, it hurts, and I don't want that to happen to the people."

Then it occurred to me that my then four year old related to people from a different nation. We began discussing how the bite can cause more than just an itch and red spot, but a sickness called Malaria that was killing people when there was a cure for it! It's never too young to explain that life is not just how you experience it, but the way it effects the nations. Last Christmas, we bought ten nets, ten or more saved by a sheer netting that prevented a bite.

This year, I don't know.

Will we give a safe water to a family for their entire life?

I don't know. I'm hoping that a Smith's precious sister will be registered so that we can sponsor her. After all their mother promised and held me tight at the thought back in September. I don't know.

I do know that our boys got extra gifts from us, and I wonder what the letter will share. Their birthdays were filled with new shoes to trek through miles on the graveled road and rainforest terrain to get to their church, sweaters to brave the cold, and food to ease the hunger pains. What will Christmas bring to them?

Do you have a heart of compassion for the people? Do you see that giving up that Dance Star Mickey will save six children? When we realize that our children can absorb compassion from young childhood and they want to save someone his or her age, what a gift! What a lesson you giving!

Give the gift of compassion this year because the beauty in this gift giving is that not only will you be changed but so will our people!

My Holiday Spirit: Laden

My house is anything but quiet today; it is anything but quiet on most days. Inside is the ring of talk, screaming, and the evening snores at the end of a hectic day. There are moments that I pause, the holiday season speeding by not waiting for me to catch up, and I wonder what I am doing wrong? I stare at our Christmas Tree laden with the Word, to be weighed down, to draw water! Isn’t that what the Word does? It draws everlasting water to our thirsty souls. To find that HE is the only one to quench that drought that tries to dwell in our inner most being. It battles with the Holy Spirit while our sin tries to spread through out vessels so that we can feel like we will NEVER have healing.

I stop for once to just listen to the music playing, and I am reminded of the beauty behind the keys, and it brings me back to just listening, "The Promise." The song’s name and I can’t help be thing of the Ultimate Promise that has been the focus of each night before laying in bed,

There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit. And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD. Is 11:1-3

I close my eyes, and I just listen to that promise, the only one that can bring truth to my life. What am I doing wrong, when I lose my temper, when I complain, or when I just don’t want to deal with the chaos? I crank up the music that I have been ignoring for some time, "Waiting Here For You" the keys each touching a part of me that I want to refine, I need to refine because deep down I know what a failure I am without Him.

One evening, I am told I love the younger more than older. Pain sears my heart from the mouth of a child, he later apologizes saying,

“I know you love me!”

It’s hard for me to believe he believes it.

“Do you, do you know?”  Heart aching knowing I know!

“Yes, because you have the Holy Spirit living inside you!”

Silence, water filling in my weary eyes, what? The saying out of the mouth of babes, but I know that there is only One that is gracious enough to let those words spill out of his mouth. Then the Lord opens my eyes to His desire to use me. I don’t understand it, nor do I try because within it all lies a woman broken and fallen. It is a woman that loses her temper, cries in defeat, and I grumble at my circumstance. Then I read the words,

“God appoints people who do disappoint – to point to a God who never disappoints.”

Yes, Lord. My only desire that through it ALL it ALL points to You!

I go to the Word so that it may laden my soul,

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy; you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy. 1 Peter 1:13-16

I go knowing that my soul will be weighed down in truth, that my spirit will remember that GRACE will be given to me through Christ. THE PROMISE! 

He will come from the line of Jesse.

He will present rest to the Spirit of the Lord.

He will be wise and full of understanding.

He will give counsel and might.

He will have knowledge.

He will fear the Lord!

He will delight in the fear of the Lord!

As His obedient child I strive to fight the conformity of my past, and my passion is to be holy through HIM! Lord, what am I doing wrong in all this? I know. I start to conform to the old me: self-reliance, self-seeking, SELF. What I’m doing wrong is not remembering YOU reliance, YOU seeking, YOU!

I don't refine, He refines!

Thank you, Lord for your promise, your use of me, and for letting me disappoint to point to you! Thank you for your constant wisdom, understanding, counsel, might, knowledge, and example of fear. Thank you for loving me enough laden my spirit, for drawing me to your water, and for calling me to your purpose!

Continue to shine, Lord.

Continue to convict, Lord.

Continue to give grace, Lord.

I would be concerned with my life if this weren’t the case.