So, the title makes me sound like I know it all, but on the contrary this list is smaller than the other. I have been doing blogs about Luk and our family, but I feel like many of you do not know how much blogging I actually do. The reason would be because it is on my myspace profile.
This is the one that shows how my thoughts go...
There are only a certain group of people that know me best Christ, Reson, my Mom, my Dad, Alissa, my twin brother Bobby, my brother Danny and his wife Amy, and Mikey. I would not have it any other way! They have seen the raw, exposed me. Now, I am up front about who I am, but these people have seen the uncensored me.
I have many people that are important to me in my life and would drop everything I was doing for them. That is what I am about, that is me. My heart may be on my sleeve for these people, but that is what is important in live...
The Lord has tested me, but I am ok with that. I know that He would not do it if He did not know that I truly loved him. I will be 23 on Sept 7th, and I can't believe everything I have gone through. I can't believe that I am still here breathing and able to talk about it. I never knew that the human body could go through soo much emotional torture.
My 23 years of life have seen many things: a relative in prison, a move to a new town (that was not that welcoming at first), betrayal of friends, graduation, marriage, friend's deaths and accidents, the devil's presence in a church (literally, that was life changing), 4 colleges, a son, a premature nephew, a paralyzed dog, a broken heart from a trusted person (twice), financial hurts, and much much more.
It is not easy listing these things, I look at them written down, and it freaks me out. I find it amazing how Satan will harbor sinful nature in bad times, but especially in all the good. I have felt guilty for friendships that should have worked, a healthy son, a living son, a stable household, new purchases, and having such a great family.
These are things that I have to pray and ask the Lord to help me in my feelings. He is my go-to guy. I don't do anything without His direction. My guilty conscience would not have it any other way. I prayed to Him about moving (no doubt, I was meant to go there), having my son (no doubt that was to happen, I had a miscarriage when I left Him out of the idea that would have been baby 2), Bobby Day (I had the funds for it), and my new camera (doubt set in, I saved for it years ago, and had to use the money for a more important matter, and now after about a year and a half I was able to save for it again).
I don't know where I am going with this, but that I would not have what I have if it was not for the Lord. He humbles me when I puff up, He loves me when I feel alone, and He gives me his grace and mercy when I do something that is not in His will. He is a just God because if He wasn't, I would not be here. People say you can die from a broken heart, I am just glad I didn't, I would have missed out on so much love and grace.
I don't know how people function without Him, I don't want to be one of those people. I need Him to give me peace because nobody on this Earth will give me the security He does. Through all the things in my life, I would not change anything except one thing, I wish I never knew that satan was capable of having his presence in a church. It was scary, I felt exposed, but sinful people allowed him to come in. I know that everything in my life has happened for a reason (including that situation), and I pray everyday for the Lord to expose those proposes in my life. I want a better understanding on how I am to serve Him. If you don't know Christ, you are missing out, and I will have no problem introducing you to Him.
God Bless Everyone! I love ya!
P.S. If you know some of this stuff in depth and want to comment just leave me a message. I still prefer to keep some specific things in private (that's life).
There's isn't much to say after all this. Just that I am grateful to have my parents in my life because they gave the knowledge of Christ. That's all I need to know, everything else is just too hard to get! =)
- WOMEN'S MINISTRY
- MISSION FRIENDS
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Tuesday, October 9, 2007
It has been some days over here in this house. If it is not one thing it is another. I just got over a case of food poisoning and now got an eye infection from a stye. I have been busy with school, writing a paper each week, and Reson and I will be in a musical production in our town. However, we have not stopped with our mini-travels; Reson and I took Luk to Hunsader Farms to pick some pumpkins (we will return for the festival) and to the beach for his Halloween photos. He enjoyed drinking his rum aka root beer and playing with Andon. There will also be some photos of mine and Luk's visit to an animal refuge here in our hometown's park. We hope that this meets everyone in great spirits.