Saturday, February 27, 2010

Reading & Eating

Luk is growing up too fast! I decided that we needed to incorporate some longer stories for his bedtime readings. So, after we watched the "The Wizard of Oz" the other day, I decided we needed to start reading the book.  Reson has been reading to him the past few nights, and I will usually read a chapter or two during the day. We are speedily reading through it, and he loves is.

Logan is growing up too fast! Yes, this statement is repetitive, but the boys are growing up too fast. It feels like Logan was just born, however that is not the case. Logan ate my homemade sweet potatoes tonight, and they were a huge success.

Happy boys, that's all I can ask for. I am a happy mommy! Soon, I am sure, Logan will be sitting up all by himself. I will be sure and post the pictures of Logan's birth. =)

My Blogit Entries Day 6: Exhausted Momma

As I begin to start nursing Mr. Clinger, I feel my head fall back and my eyes shut hard as I sit on the couch. It is starting to catch up to me... exhaustion. My life has been one crazy story for the past few weeks. Along with dedicating my time to school and my boys, I have been helping the husband with Youth events and activities. We are trying to raise funds for our students to go to church camp. It is a small church, and none of them have experienced anything like it. Weekend after weekend, we have been doing fundraisers, yard sales, you name it... we have been doing it. This past weekend we expanded the Youth room adding space and completing a cafe area for them to eat and socialize. For a youth group that only ranged 10-12 students, we have jumped to 20-22. It has been quite an encouraging and fruitful ministry. Today, I get to just chill out at the house. It is muggy and cold outside, and I am trying to get (some) school work done with a hurt wrist.  However the husband is treating me to a shopping trip that I have put off for some time. A Starbucks gift card (from Christmas) and laptop savings will be two purchases checked off my list. So, I will adventure out of the warm house this evening for much needed family time out.
 It seems that even with being exhausted, I am a sucker to going out if it means I get to be with my boys. The exhaustion gets shifted to a pocket in my body that explodes out the moment I get home from activities. A mom can never truly show how exhausted she is because if she did, well... my feelings would be that nothing would get done, or I will miss out on something great. This is not the fault of anyone else but my own. The eyes are throbbing with the need of sleep, but Mr. Independent and Mr. Clinger need my love and attention. The husband goes to work in the morning, yet manages to help by cooking breakfast for our three year old. It is amazing how that one act alleviates my morning. I got to experience cooking eggs and toast just for me! On top of that, they were hot and fresh, and my coffee stayed warm!
It was a simple act, but one that allowed me to experience a nice breakfast without it overcooking or getting cold. The random deep sighs allow for a brief moment of feeling no pressure on the shoulders, and rubbing the throbbing eyes seem to make for just a few minutes of relief. Is this complaining, no. However, it is reality of the life I wanted since I was a little girl. While other high school girls chose college and single living, I chose marriage and children, and the schooling fits in when the time allows. I sit at home with two beautiful boys and only 11 weeks of school left. While friends that I graduated with graduated from college last year and are either upset that they haven't found "the one", or they are getting married as I type.
I don't envy them! I'm living my dream as a stay at home mom, with a man that I have known for over ten years, and soon receiving a college degree. I don't have to worry about the struggles of being a newlywed, or worry about finding my life partner. My dreams of being a young mom when my boys get older is satisfying and a reality. The dream continues with me driving my red convertible Corvette as a young hip grandmother, while my classmates are still dealing with teens in the home. I'm ahead of the game, and with that the exhaustion is worth it. This is not everyone's dream, but it is certainly mine. I think that what astonishes my classmates the most when they see me is that, I AM HAPPY! I am still married! I have two beautiful boys and look great(from what my husband keeps telling me)! There is nothing like showing the world that you can marry young, still be in love, have children, still get a college degree, and be satisfied with it!
The eyes and wrist hurt, the exhaustion is evident in my daily pajama attire, but that's okay because I am a mom and wife to the best three men in the world.

My Blogit Entries Day 5: Family Love: Newsstands a Buzzin'

Wow, these past seven days of no blogging have not been fun. The clan has been sick. It started with Mr. Clinger having a head cold, which then lovingly spread to Mr. Independent and myself. The husband escaped it, and I'm a bit jealous over that. Just kidding, but he has always managed to get well quicker than the rest of us. I've had many thoughts going through my head the past few days due to much of the media over pour of news, and it hasn't really been helping with the mental status. I feel frustrated, stressed, and concerned about where this country is going. It is just so much easier to go to work to provide, and that be the end of it. However, as a Christian, I don't feel that is what God has for me to do.
The fact that the husband is the youth pastor at our church, and I work in the children's department creates a focus on what parents are teaching their children. We have encountered many different scenarios, and some are just plain sad. Then to have to read things from the media just fuels the sadness. It is truly overwhelming.  So, in this momma's mind, the facts are these (thanks "Pushing Daisies" for this one liner, a show cut in its' prime)...
1) I am a Christian in America, which should mean that I have the freedom to speak my mind just as much as a Muslim American, a Gay American, or any other American (Atheist, Mormon, Feminist, etc).
2) If CBS wants to air an anti-abortion ad, so be it. I have to be subjected to beer ads and other sexual innuendos during the Super Bowl, and I'm suppose to be tolerate of everyone else, yet they don't have to tolerate of me. Also, from what I understand, it is about how Pam Tebow made the CHOICE to keep Tim. So... where is the agrument Pro-choicers... She chose to keep, not abort! Get over it, would the ad be better if she decided to abort. Get over yourselves, or like CBS states there are some slots still available get some donators and come up with own ad. By the way, you brought more attention to the ad, so now people will notice it. James Dobson thanks you, and so do many others.
 3) Jonathan Edwards, seriously... I'm glad you still "care about" Elizabeth, whatever that means in today's society. I'm not one to support divorce (though I understand it in some cases), but Elizabeth you deserve to be truly loved and supported while you fight your fight with cancer.
4) PETA... I get it, I love my dogs, hamsters, and other precious creatures, but why not go and fight for the lives of homeless people and orphans, just sayin'.
5) Just because you are conservative does not automatically make you a Republican. It also does not make me a Democrat writing that. It can mean that I weigh the options with the junk that is offered. I'm not sure I care about what Obama's agenda is anymore. I don't know what would be best to get our economy better, but I do know that we are a wasteful country, and we don't seem to learn our lessons. and lastly on this mini tyraid...
6) I want an ipad, but will wait to see if they come out with a better version with a camera and flash support. I think it best to wait til the kinks are all out. Yes, I'm a Mac person.
 So, what's with the title "Family Love"?
1) It doesn't matter your religion, sexual orientation, or stance on political controversies. We all have the capability to love. I can't judge you, nor should I. You shouldn't judge me just because I'm a Christian. I believe in loving my neighbor as I would want to be loved.
2) I kept my darling boys! I love them! If the Doctors would have told me to abort, my choice to keep would still stand because I believe in my faith with Christ. You make your choices, I make mine, I have no place to stop you and you can't stop me no matter if there is an ad on television. The ad doesn't tell me  something I don't already know. I supposedly live in a free country where I can choose!  Thanks for telling me something I already know.
3) I love my husband, it is more than just caring about him, but respecting him as my mate.
4) I love animals, but I do feel there are more important things to worry about. Yes, I eat meat!
5) I love living in a free country where I can vote for a Republican, Democrat, Non-Partisan, or whatever the political stance is. I vote for what I feel goes with my values. Just so you know, neither top candidate felt worthy of my vote. I voted for someone else on the list that I did my own research on, which is what ALL voters should do.
6) I love Apple products!
 Family love, there is nothing like it. This country's decisions effect everything that has to do with my family because I live here. Sorry, if you happen to not agree with me. I am an American, I have the freedom of speech, you do what you think is best for your family just like I do.  Those are the tyraids of a momma that stays home with her boys, and has to read the garbage of this country.

My Blogit Entries Day 4: Childhood Cancer

About two years ago, I was told by a friend that a couple from my last church (when I lived in KY) were fighting the fight of cancer. Their three year old son had been diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. It is a cancer that is found in children that attacks the nervous system. Those that go into remission and relapse have a slim chance of survival and depending on the stage of the cancer it can be a 50/50 chance. In finding out about this young guy came the spider web of other cancer patients. My husband used to think that I was just torturing myself by reading the blogs of these parents, friends, family, etc. However, making me nervous, it is really something I do to pray for families. Not only that, it puts my two little ones into perspective. When I lose my temper, or when I think I can't handle another sleepless night, one of the families seem to post a blog about their experience.
 There have been different turn outs in each case. The original boy is in remission, and everyday his parents have to keep in mind that he could relapse, and then what? Death? He goes for check ups regularly.
Another family lost their little boy just a little over a year ago leaving behind an older sister that had to learn that her parents needed to be with her brother because they just didn't know when he would be gone. She took his death extremely hard.
Just recently, a three year old died after a two year fight with his cancer. He was the only child for this couple, who are now trying to build their marriage back up after night after night in St. Jude.
Another two year old's parents have just been told their is nothing more that can be done, but control the pain. He stays at home days with no eating or standing then days of great eating and wanting to play. His parents are just trying to prepare for how he will die.
In the past week, a mother died from breast cancer leaving her 5 and 7 year old boys and husband.
Today, a 20 year old that fought Neuroblastoma as a 12 year old relapsed. He was just informed today about how he will die. He has so many tumors in main areas of his body that it could be painful, fast or slow.The amazing thing is how he talks about how glorious God is. I would hope that if I were put in this situation, I would do the same. It puts my life in perspective.
 All of these families have many things in common, however there is ONE thing that they all write in their blogs...  "I HATE CANCER!" It decays their loved ones' bodies, and takes them away. They all encourage donations to find a cure because they don't want others to go through what they have. They are so selfless. They often say that they know their own child will pass, but they want a cure so that others don't have to experience the loss of a loved one from cancer.The site that I go to is, if you are a prayer warrior, they appreciate the prayers.

 Steven Curtis Chapman, a Christian musician and father of 6 (the 3 youngest were adopted girls from China), lost his youngest daughter when his son came driving into the drive way ran her over by accident. He recalls a night that he was getting upset because he had songs to write for a deadline, and she and her sister were prolonging bedtime because they wanted him to sing and read to them. He didn't surrender, and later came the song Cinderella. He realized soon after what he did was selfish. He was grateful for that realization before her death.
A morbid and dreadful post, yes! However, I hope that it gives you perspective as it has done for my life. I can not understand what these families are going through, but I can change the way I see my life. The nights that my three month old is awake sick with a headcold, or my three year old prolonging bedtime for some needed attention, I count as blessings, not nuisances. I encourage you to love a little harder, hug a little longer, and remember what you have right in front of you.

My Blogit Entries Day 3: Homeschool Dilemma

I was all but ready to solely dedicate a blog to the life of my three year old son, however my mind is being flooded with homeschooling curriculum choices. It was not a decision that was take lightly. I mean, let's think about this, your child's education lies in your hands. It is so much easier just to throw him into a public school, and then blame the under paid and under appreciated teacher for his behavior and lack of putting forth an effort. However, in making this decision it was hard for me to bring up the homeschooling idea and concerns to my husband. We were both brought up in the public school system, and I wasn't sure what his take would be on it. It was our move from Louisville back home to Florida that my ideas for this came to light.
The school system in our county has been going down hill for years, and I just didn't know what to do about it. When I finally had the courage to bring it up to my husband his "biggest concern" was the socializing aspect. This was not a big issue for me. I was the girl who got in trouble for talking in class; I was the girl that got sent to the silent table during lunch. So, for me socializing in public school was an oxymoron if I had a say in the matter. My husband's concern in this matter did not last long when we saw our son's personality blossom. The boy could have a magical conversation with a tree, if you let him. My thought process was, "How can a mom who is highly educated send her sons to a school that is not performing the way the state would like?"
The birth of the journey into Homeschooling began with my husband's full support. We agreed that for our family and our Christian beliefs that this is what we wanted for our boys. We discussed what would happen if the boys wanted to attend school as they got older and if we would be open to that decision. For now, we think it will not play a huge role in the boys' thoughts. For one, the boys have close-aged friends that will be home taught as well. There is a nice core group in the area that are planning the same education route as we are. If the matter was brought up, we would approach it with letting the boys take one class at the high school. The state of Florida allows homeschooling students to take AP/DE courses or extracurricular classes at the school, as long as this law remains, we think that will satisfy their craving. If not, praying about the decision would be the answer.
Back to the curriculum... There is so much out there, and it can be overwhelming for beginners. The Florida Homeschooling convention will be approaching in May, and this will be my second year in attendance. My husband will be joining me this year to help with weeding out the choices. It seems that I have gotten the Writing, Math, and Critical Thinking programs selected. I have Reading, Social Studies, and Science that I have left to ponder. The reading is my biggest obstacle. I was taught to read by sight (no phonics), when the system saw that this was not the best approach they switched back to phonics. So, I am a strong advocate for PHONICS! Come May, I am hoping that with the help of the husband, my convention endeavor will be less overwhelming.
My opinion and tips for those pursuing homeschooling are: make sure your spouse gives you the support you need, weigh out the pros and cons for your individual family (not what worked best for others), be open to all the curriculum, find a support group in your area or online, and follow your child's strengths. For example, Mr. Independent (my three year old) enjoys the hands on approach along with the visual attraction of things. He would fail terribly sitting doing nothing but writing. He loves creating. He is artistic. The math program we are selecting for him has many scales, blocks, cards, etc. 
The time will come when Mr. Clinger (my three month old) will be ready for school, and only God knows how different he will be in learning. Just when I think I have it all straightened out, I'm sure he will tangle it all up for me. I am sure there will be more on this dilemma in the future because the homeschooling dilemma is a great one, but an experience I know God will bless our family with.

My Blogit Entries Day 2: Daddy's Love

It was a typical morning in our house. The husband was out the door by 8am to go to work. While I was begging my three month old to let me get just five more minutes of sleep, and hoping that his sporadic yelps wouldn't wake up his brother. It is at these moments, that I begin to feel like a teenager again pleading with my mom to give me a snooze button. Of course, the best part about this is when these two boys grow up, I will be the mom bouncing on their beds to get them to wake up. Oh, sweet justice, it will be mine... one day. Moving on... He did wake up because of the yelping, and he slowly opens my bedroom door gingerly climbing into my bed. However, unlike typical mornings where he cuddles with me, he was doing is little puppy dog noises. I turn to ask him what was wrong, and BAM, he screams!!! "I WANT MY DADDY, I MISS HIM, I WANT TO LOVE ON  HIM!" Awe, yes, the beginning to a beautiful day. I am not necessarily complaining, but simply trying to get used to a new routine since the arrival of "baby brother". He made me call his dad to plea with him to drive back home from work. United, my husband and I were explaining to our son that if daddy didn't work we wouldn't have a nice house, food, toys, comfy beds, etc. This was a failure in communicating with him, he is three, and he loves his dad and wants him home.
It was then that he said it, the saddest thing a three year old could say to a dad that is obligated to go to work to provide, "Daddy, my heart is breaking, come home!" Of course, this put daddy over the edge in sadness. It was then that I decided that daddy needed to hang up, we said our "I Love You"s and hung up. "Baby brother" on the right, the heart broken one on my left, I say to him, "why don't you cuddle and love on me?" He did it, lovingly. Then his new favorite question popped up, "How long will it take for daddy to come home?" I reply, "Like everyday, at dinner time after breakfast, lunch, and nap." "Okay, mommy" and that was the end of it.
He is playing happily with Play Doh, and waiting for me to start his school. Was this morning hectic, yes! Did I want to climb into a whole for just a few minutes of tranquil silence, yes! Would I change my son's reaction to missing his daddy, NO! I love knowing that my son loves his daddy. It has really given me the affirmation that everyday when daddy walks in through the door and we make a HUGE deal of him returning home has paid off. I love it. I love seeing that my son loves his dad, and that the presence of his dad makes him feel whole.  I love that he is comforted by me until the hero of the day returns to his secret headquarters.
You cannot replace a daddy's love. I am grateful for knowing that my husband will be home at the end of the day. It makes me appreciate the soldiers who are away from their families to protect mine. I appreciate the Doctors, that are on-call in the wee hours of the night to heal my family. I am appreciative to anyone who is not home with their family that crosses paths with mine. Most of all... I am grateful to a God that allows my husband to come home to his family everyday.
Now, as we go about our day, we patiently await for our "main man" to come home, and when that time comes, we will be making a HUGE deal at his presence like always. There is really is nothing like a daddy's love, just ask my sons.

My Blogit Entries Day 1

Welcome to the thoughts of a wife, mother, student, and teacher. It will not take a reader long to realize that having these four titles can become a bit complex, however that is what life should be about complexity. If we lived with no complexity it would be quite a flat world and existence. As a first entry into this blog, I must make it known that within these past three sentences I have gotten up twice to nurture my three month old encouraging him to take his afternoon nap, and taking my soon-to-be four year old to his room for his nap. What started out as quick little blog has turned into a chore that has lasted over an hour. So here is an introduction to this new blogger:
There are few things that I think get misinterpreted in life (especially mine) by society:
Marriage is not only 50/50: It would be fun to say that my husband and I share the load equally, but I'm not going to lie, we don't . If we did then I would have to keep a score board up in the house, however that is not how we like to live. We both make mistakes, and needing to bring up old mishaps doesn't make a marriage stronger. However, it is learning sometimes that I will have to give more and take less, yet acknowledging that there are times that my husband has to give more and take less. It's been a busy day with a cranking teething three month old and a three year old trying to test his boundaries, which means one thing nothing has gotten done in the house. My husband is busy with clients all day long, he skipped lunch, and has a half hour drive to get home. Who's to say he worked harder or that I worked harder. No it's all about: Compromising... Communication... Patience... Understanding... Forgiveness... these are all elements to making a marriage work. Here goes year seven of marriage.
Parenting young children: it's all fun raising a kid, but most of the time I have to recollect that I am not raising kids but men. That's right, I'm one of those people, my husband and I talk to our children knowing that they are more intelligent than we can comprehend. My three year old already knows the concept of death (through the loss of a hamster and learning about Jesus' sacrificial decision to save us), and he can pretty much tell you his male reproductive system. With that being said, he thinks that Santa left him presents under the tree, that somehow the Green Goblin can become a good guy, and maybe just maybe he can learn to fly like Superman. Even with the concept of raising men, my sons can still have fun becoming one.
Online school is easier than ground schooling: In this area, I have become the "Jack of all traits". I started my college education with Dual Enrollment courses in High school, however we can begin the actual career of "going to college" in 2003. I started as a degree major in Christian Counseling at Boyce College (SBTS), switched to the University of Louisville as an Education major, however finally settleing back home in the Sunshine State just to go to school (online) in Arizona's Grand Canyon University majoring in English Literature. Did you get all that? The easiest thing about going to school online is not having to figure out what to wear. It a challenging, diverse, and humbling experience going to school online. You have to be a self teach, you cannot rely on the professor to teach you everything, you have be able to read large amounts of homework, and you better be a fanastic writer, or you will not make it. With that being said, education for adults has gotten more acessible and more enjoyable, especially for the mothers and wives of the world.
Children that are home taught are non-social: Whomever came up with this idea is insane or they are just ignorant to the ways of the world. If my memory serves me correctly one must interact with people in ever aspect of life: the grocery store or market, the library, neighbors, church, you name it... life is based on socializing. If you were to meet my son,  you wouldn't be able to tell he was home taught just by his social skills. The kid can talk your ear off. Parents that home school their children know the importance of this situation, however we also have to remember that socialization is also part of a personal characteristic. Your child will either be talkative and out going, or your child may simply be shy and laid back. It is with this simple reminder that just because you home school or your child goes to public school they can be have either personality, type A or B.
These are just little snippets of what my life is about, and I hope to see you (my readers) soon. As the journey of this complex momma continues.
What's to come, what will you have to look forward to: the beginning of the first born's education, the milestones of three month old, the graduation of the mom behind this blog, and the ups and downs of understanding this relationship that has been in the works for over two years. Stay tuned the fun has just begun!

Friday, February 26, 2010

It's been a year!

Yes, it has been a year since I have blogged on here. We have quite a bit going on. Luk has a brother! We are a family of four, and are incredibly excited. Logan is 4 months old.

Luk will be four years old, come this May. He is truly a wonderful big brother. 

I started a different blog a few days ago that will chronicle my homeschooling endeavor with the boys. I also have a developed photography website, if you want to see some of my pictures @

I have to be honest I have been blogging somewhere else, and I will post some of those thoughts because they have been read by people that pay to be on the site. I will do this sometime this evening.

I will be graduating with my English Literature in May. I am currently finishing my last two research papers, and then my final class, Poetry.

Stay tuned...