Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Background

As I mentioned yesterday SEEing God for who He is really unimaginable for our brains. He is just that holy, that omnipotent. However, there is a chance that we can hopefully get glimpses of who He is. This does not always mean that it is good. You can see that in scripture, but how can you see him in your life?

Music speaks to me in ways that my spirit understands. Reson uses a program called interlinc for the youth. It puts together music from Christian artists and puts them into real life illustrations and Bible studies. I'm not usually able to hear all the lessons nor all the music. There are three different "Flavors": Hot, Main, Mild. Hot is all hard/punk/metal rock, Mild is Contemporary, and then there's Main which carries top choices from Hot and Mild. We use Main because it really depicts our group of kids really well. They like it all.

Winter Theme for 2010-11 is Missions & Service. Well, this program has really brought to light some music that we have never listened to or we have only hard bits of these artists. For me, it has expanded my love for genres that I never thought I would like. Case in point: "Sent by Ravens." The other thing this has done for has gotten me to really see that no matter the sound I love the sound of the words coming out that speak truth. Manafest is one example, but for today the meditation has been on Lecrae.
I have heard of him, and I have heard some of his stuff. In this Winter Theme we got his new album "Rehab." Reson had me listen to the song "Background,"


I could play the background
I could play the background
Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won’t You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won’t You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead
 
It’s evident you run the show, so let me back down
You take the leading role, and I’ll play the background
I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines
I’m sticking to your script, and I’m reading all your signs
I don’t need my name in lights, I don’t need a starring role
Why gain the whole wide world, If I’m just going lose my soul?
And my ways ain’t purified, don’t live according to Your Word
I can’t endure this life without Your wisdom being heard
So word to every dance, a foe, a pop star
‘Cause we all play the background, but mine’s a rockstar
Yeah, so if you need me I’ll be stage right
Praying the whole world will start embracing stage fright
So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions
‘Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessing
That I’m not that impressive, matter of fact
I’m who I are, a trail of stardust leading to the superstar
 
I could play the background
I could play the background
Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won’t You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won’t You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead

I had a dream that I was captain of my soul

I was master of my fate, lost control. and then I sank
So I don’t want to take the lead, ’cause I’m prone to make mistakes
All the folks who follow me, going end up in the wrong place
So let me just shadow you, let me trace your lines
Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes
‘Cause if I do this by myself, I’m scared that I’ll succeed
And no longer trust in you, ’cause I only trust in me
And see, that’s how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothing
You pulled my card, I’m bluffing, You know what’s in my hand
Me, I’m just going to trust you, You cause the dice to land
I’m in control of nothing, follow you at any cost
Some call it sovereign will, all I know is you the boss
Man, I’m so at ease, I’m so content
I’ll play the background, like it’s an instrument

I could play the background

I could play the background
Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won’t You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won’t You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead
 
I know I’m safest when I’m in Your will, and trust Your Word
I know I’m dangerous when I trust myself, my vision blurred
And I ain’t got no time to play life’s foolish games
Got plenty aims, but do they really Glorify Your name?
And it’s a shame, the way I want to do these things for You
Don’t even cling to you, take time to sit and gleam from You
Seems You were patient in my ignorance
If ignorance is bliss, it’s ’cause she never heard of this
 
I could play the background
I could play the background
Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won’t You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won’t You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead
 
I could play the background
I could play the background
Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won’t You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won’t You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead. 

I think that this really depicts my fears with my life. Do I try to do things by myself? Do I lead myself into destruction regularly?  I was asked recently why I don't go for a singing competition in our town... I didn't right away. My response: "I don't want to." I'm not it was 100% accurate because to me it is not a simple question to answer. I have a genuine fear that I would stop looking to the one that gave me the gift to sing. I do use my voice to glorify Him every Sunday, but I'm too fearful to what I would become if I did try to pursue it. 

Does this mean that I am not open to it? No, but I guess if it is something that is meant to happen it will when it is suppose to. 
- Maybe used to sign God's praises in Spanish to an orphanage in Guatemala, Casa Para NiƱos.
-Maybe in a worship team at a church. 

Whichever it be, I want to stay in the background because I'm dangerous when I trust myself because I am in control of nothing. I want Christ to lead me because I take the wrong turns and make mistakes. I did confess to Reson that this is the real answer to question I was asked. I do think that if I am meant to do music there will be two things to happen:
1) Though the fear should still be there, it will not be so prominent to stop me. 
2) God will make is evident and clear. He will open the door. 

I'm not sure it is me going out for a competition. It really is not in my personality. I'm sure it would be fun, but again not in my personality to do it. For right now, I will be headlining in a four bedroom two and half bath home to the audience of two little boys ready for a nap. Allow with the boys will be my "Rock Star" Dad taking the lead showing His glory, and it is sure to receive a standing "O." 

Until the next gig at tomorrow's nap, I'll be staying content playing the background as a happy singin' momma at home. =D

No comments: