Monday, August 15, 2011

Are you Super Mom or Abiding Mom?

I have this paper posted on my fridge. There have been moments that I have stared at it in disgust, yet other times that I look at it in joy. The disgust comes after I followed the "Does" column all the while ignoring the "Is." Yet, there are moments, quiet moments when I look at it... and there is a joy that comes through my mind as I see improvement that the Lord has granted me in areas of the "is."
I have found that my views are not popular with in areas of the way I mother or the way that I am a wife. It must be an out fashioned thing... right... I tend to think it is was is called of me from God.

"Blessed is the marriage of a woman who joyfully serves, offering gifts by the work of her hands."~ Time-Warp Wife

Apparently, this quote was liked by a person on my friend's list, but I sit back not getting an answer for the discontent with the statement. However, it made me focus. I am an accomplished woman. I have a degree in English Literature, a wonderful husband, and two beautiful little boys. Am I accomplished if you read just that alone?  In today's society, sure, but would quickly think otherwise if they knew more...

I don't work outside the home. No, I stay at home homeschooling my two boys.

I delight in keeping our house clean.

I find thanksgiving in serving my husband offering the gifts that are done by my hands.

Now, I sound like a maid serving the egotistical superior male. The stereotype of serving in this generation is really a sign of the ignorance in this world. We see serving as a downgrade. We see it as a woman giving up her "power" in the house. It's easy to let the world cloud our mind with these ideals, and you sit at home with screaming children, toys scattered everywhere, and it hits you... I have no purpose here. The kids don't listen. The laundry never stops. Escape!

However, if we look at our purpose from the time of Adam and Eve, we are given the job of "helper."
20bBut for Adam there was not found a HELPER fit for him. 21So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.   Genesis 2 

With that comes something of great value. Along with us being a helper, we are of great worth for we came from the man directly. He will rule over us for the sin committed in the garden, but what we need to remember along with him ruling over us is that we will be of ONE flesh.
24Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2

How do you become one flesh? We share in delight with each other for who we are. Who God created us to be. When we align our lives with Christ our marriages move in-sync with one another as if in ONE flesh.

This is just the beginning of what a marriage is to look like, and I am sure I will write more about this later. Our world has deformed what marriage is, and has made it to look like a battle of who can stay the boss the longest. 

And so comes the page on the fridge and comes part of my purpose as the "Helper"... having children adds a new dynamic to the marriage so a Godly woman's train of thought must develop into something greater. Am I accomplished by the world's standards, to some "yes" to others "no. Am I accomplished according to the God who is the Creator of all things? I look into my heart, where do my standards lie? I don't care about your standards or even what mine can turn into if I focus on the world. I care what is written in the book of truth. My delight is in pleasing my Father. 

So, I stand against the kitchen counter sweaty from deep cleaning the bathrooms, loading the laundry into the dryer, and I listen as two brothers are laughing one second and the next screaming over a toy. I look at the time to see that it is barely 9:00 am. I look back at my page, go down the list:

impress others/please the Lord... I pray out loud that I am pleasing to Him; 

controlled by agenda/controlled by the Holy Spirit... at this moment the Holy Spirit as I skip a chore to stand and read this page; 

self worth in accomplishments/self worth in Christ... Christ you give an abundance of this; 

peace in perfection/peace in the storm... a great storm has passed through and I reflect thinking of the gift of peace He gave Reson and I (thanksgiving);

discourage by failure/failure remembering His perfect strength in my weakness... again reminded of the frailty of the past month and see only His strength gave us strength and endurance;

expects perfection/practices grace... I look down knowing this has not been done. I look back on my apologies for my imperfections. I am reminded sanctification is never ending process;

teaches kids to be good/teaches kids to be Godly... I look at the page below this one that reads "Pray for God to change your heart." This page that has a little girl knees bent in prayer. I think about sending Luk to his room to ask God to help him practice self control, yet I remember sending him to his room with no Godly direction. I think about how often I need to be disciplined by my Father, and I go without acknowledging Him;

frustrated by lack of fruit/ abides and bears much fruit... I have looked at this sheet with frustration in this area, but over the past couple of months I have begun to see that I was simply ignoring the fruits. I wasn't stopping and engaging in His fruition;

does things with her kids/builds a relationship with her kids... I think back to a day when I sent Luk to his room for nap after a discipline lesson that was not God directed, and yet I remember all the other days I sit with him and he tells me about his sadness, his joys, and his frustrations. Though they seem small today his ability to tell me the small things will lead to him wanting to share the big things as he grows;

perspective on seen/perspective on unseen... Is my focus on the above or of the world? We are working on that as we disengage the television and engage the Holy Spirit;

quantity/quality... this seems to be an ongoing battle as we choose activities to get the boys involved in, but I am reminded that what I show them is important now will dominant their engagement. So, we focus on one sport that is still overtaken by the Word;

children think mom is too busy/children call her blessed... I look down again and smile. It was only this morning that I was reminded how blessed I am. Logan climbs into the bed in the dark at 6:30am, and he kisses me followed by placing his head against my cheek. Luk climbs into the bed at 8:00am whispering, "I love you, Mom." Blessed.

Blessed. The word gets misused so much today. Blessed because you have money because you got a vacation and it's quiet. What way are you blessed? Is it the reverent and honor through worship, blessed? Or is it the blessed because of good fortune or enjoying happiness? Are you blessed through the pain and through the bad? Blessed. There's more than one kind of blessed.

Sacred. A sacred life that is dedicated or set apart to have a service of worship for our Creator, or devoted exclusively to one service, to serve God. Sacred. A word left out of tongues... you are blessed, but are you sacred? That puts you in a whole new light... doesn't it?

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