I'm sure you hear it all the time...

BUT it has to be said I DO have the best dad.

This also must be said that I know I have put my dad through alot, and I KNOW I have said some hurtful things to him. Doesn't everyone have those moments? You have been with this person for much of your life, and things are said in the heat of moments when tempers are flaring... you haven't? Well, that's great it must be a Cuban thing then. =D

My husband and I are leaving a church softball and as we are going in reverse hear a "boom." You know, one of those "I just hit something," but you clearly didn't. Uh-oh... we both knew that we had stretched out our brakes just a wee bit too long. Of course, when situations like this happens it is usually when you spend your money on a trip for your wife to go Peru. Happens all the time.

So, the next day I give my handy-dandy daddy a call describing the sound, and informing him that I knew I needed new breaks. He asks, "How do you know that?" I should have stated... "You taught me that, duh!" But I didn't. I stated the squeaking sound that they have been delivering. His response, "Okay well, it should just be the breaks then I will call you back." This was a better response than the darling husband of mine that said it sounded like something with the transmission (YIKES)!

Within minutes he calls back, "Well, Mr. Mechanic Man thinks it is just the breaks and possibly a WYE joint. He will be by your house to check it out." Sure enough, the great Mr. Mechanic Man came by check under the car. VERDICT: No WYE joint, just awful back brakes and routers. Minutes later: Dad hops out of his Roll-Off Truck arriving with the set of brake pads and routers. Seriously! *tear*

Rewind a few days later Mom knocks on our door and explains, "I thought I would drop by and talk to you and the boys while your dad mows your lawn." Seriously! *tear*

I would like to bring the focus on that this is the same man who had a quadruple bypass just months ago. However, this is the same man that made sure that by the age of 16: I knew how to change a flat tire, drive a manual (stick-shift) vehicle,  change my oil, and not to mention taught me about 3-4 years prior the steps to building a house. I'm almost certain that my parents would have done a far better job homeschooling than what they would say. My dad would say no because he has reading difficulties, and yet he still will read manuals, rules, credit card fine prints. I can hang dry wall, tape it, clay it up (whatever).

You see where I'm going with this. He got me the things for my car and mowed my lawn highly knowing I was capable of doing it myself; he taught me that stuff. If I were never married my dad taught me to be able to be dependent on my own wits to not rely on a man. Now, I do rely on my husband, but out of desire to be a Godly submissive wife.

My dad was not one to change diapers or do the cuddling when we were babes, but he was the balance to my mom. He loved us in a way that he would not let me just sit around and not take care of myself.  However, it is not always about that is it. He is the head of his household. He raised adults with problems, but problems that could be fought and taken care of. If and when he is around he takes care of it. Back aching, chest cut open, ribs broken there he is.

Provider, sustainer, protector of his family even when the silly sixth grader makes a problem even bigger when she uses just the right wording to make a teacher seem worse than he or she actually are. Yep...

Or when he uses this vacations to help his sister-in-law finish her basement, or when he leaves a vacation early to help his children move back home unexpectedly. Scotty Smith said (paraphrasing) A sign in grace is showing that you can drop what you are doing to help those around you. You have no set schedule when it comes to helping. Dad, you have done that for most of your life, haven't you?

One phone call and you can be gone in seconds. I have that trait, and sometimes it is hasty, but those are the times that people remember. It may have an outcome of great, but you were there to hear it with those that you rushed to.

Yet, I will say that the best things about my dad is that even if he says this ridiculous statement, "I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." I know deep down he doesn't believe it because he knows all too well the Sovereignty of God's grace and mercy, don't you?

He doesn't usually apologize, but you see it in his actions later. And just as I thought he would wouldn't eat fish and veggies. There he goes. He is a man who is submissive to what God calls upon him to do in life, and even as simple as his food choice. You see the best dad is not one that you get along with the most or who plays with you all the time or even gives you everything you want. No, having the best is knowing your dad has faults and works on himself, teaches you to be an adult that is not reliable, shows through example how to be a Christ Follower.

Thanks Dad! I love you.

PS- I need a new picture because that guy up there has lost more than 70lbs since his surgery. WHAT!?

Compassion Trip Peru 2011: Prep

So, the payment has been made, luggage here, passport ordered (waiting for it to get to my home), and now to figure out my immunization shots. 103 days and counting until I board the plane to Peru.

Random thoughts:

• I'm going alone with a group of people I have never met. As I filled out the registration form it was a tad bit sad to not be able to put Reson's name with mine. 
• I am leaving my boys for seven days without wife and mommy.
• There is that nervous excitement in it all.
• This is going to be a great trip.

Right now the Compassion crew is in the Philippines.

I would encourage you to check out the blogs being written so that you can pray and encourage the team that is there now...

The Aroma of Christ

Do you smell that? It's a very distinct scent. I breathe it in, and right away I know that I can sit and relax.

The conversations are usually lite, and no need to get deep... or is there a need?

Yes, I'm sitting in the salon cutting my hair off. I return to get some color.

It was in that second visit that I was told something that upset me.  "I would have never thought you to be the person you are. You seemed to be someone that would be caught dancing on tables, but after getting to know you, you really love God." (Paraphrasing for memory sake)

Do get me wrong would that have upset me a year ago, or even nine months ago? I'll be honest, probably not. At least after getting to know me she knew what I stood for... right?

For most, this would be a compliment because after discussion I have a stance, but what about the times that discussion isn't an option?

What is your aroma?

I want to be drowned in HIS smell. I want my very presence to pour out HIS goodness. I want HIS glory to shine through my being. I am not there, but each day grows with me soaking in HIS truth into my brokenness.

You see it is not enough to just have someone know who you are after a talk, but that the moment you walk into a place it is sensed that you are different. Even if they can't put their finger on that, they KNOW she has something I want.

How do I get it?

What is it?



Examine your aroma.

The opening of your eyes to see yourself with accuracy is 

one of the long-term projects of transforming grace.

-Paul Tripp

What do you see? 

What do you smell?

I pray that this long-term project creates a woman after God's own image.  As Paul wrote to the believers in Thessalonica, 

²³Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. ²⁴ He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it. 

Lord, sanctify my being that I may be completely whole. May I be faithful and blameless. Build me up so that my aroma surrounds those around me that they know I live only for YOU.   

A sign you're growing in grace: You're learning to invest your vapor-like existence in things that will last forever.

-Scotty Smith

 

Our Preparation for Resurrection Sunday

Our Christian faith is based on this day. Resurrection Sunday is a day that we bring into light for not just a day, but for many as we prepped our family for this day. Before the month of April Luk and I walked through the life of Jesus. His birth, his boyhood, his life with the disciples, and so forth. Then as there were only a mere 17 days left until Resurrection Sunday we began the An Easter Devotional by Ann Voskamp.

The cross carried by Christ to wash His blood over our sins, the grace and love...

His death

His Burial

He LIVES!

Everyday adding our photos to the cross, everyday "We pause to listen to the word..." We linger on this, and we allow it to marinate in us, and flavor our lives. We then on Friday "Tell the Easter Story with a Playdough Mountain" taking the time to form the mountain,

making the cross, creating the scene

it is a reason to stop and meditate on HIS story... on OUR story.

He sets in the tomb that night. DEAD!

He is ALIVE come Sunday!

The beauty of the cross is what it leads to HIS overcoming of death, HIS salvation over us...

Luk again teaches as we do this activity, make the crown of thorns because that's what they made Him wear. We have to remember what we do to Him everyday that we ignore His word and choose our way over His. The crown gets pushed further in, the nails pull Him even more, and His blood STILL sheds for us. Resurrection Sunday more important than Christmas and His birth because without His death, we will have lost it all.

In Christ alone...

It's not just any other day

"The cross is not a mere event in history; it's a way of life! Take up your cross DAILY, Jesus said!"

"Betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter, abandoned by the eleven, forsaken by God. Darkness, you get one hour. Then you die." 

-John Piper

The cross, this beautiful woven story, and the only thing I can compare it to is the way God has woven us in our mother's wombs to be in HIS image. I can't escape that truth. 

HIS image.

HIS story.

 HIS truth.

 I sit in awe. I am broken. I am a broken SINNER THAT DESERVES HELL!!! I have so many emotions today! I WANT TO SCREAM!!! I AM SO FULL OF FRUSTRATION!!! 

People's lives that are separated from God's ignoring this day. CHRISTIANS NOT HOLDING IT SACRED IN THEIR HEARTS! People skipping work, school, or whatever and just doing nothing, but have another day off. ARGH!!! 

Everyday that I don't spend time in the word, every sinful thought in mind, and every time I think I know what's best for my life... I am disgusted with myself.

sad... 

lower than scum... 

I deserve hell.

So, I sit here in tears, speechless... ask why? Teach my boys that today, oh it's not just any other day, but it's the day that innocent blood was shed, a cross was raised, and soon a tomb that was once filled will be vacant. 

The tomb

As I teach them, they teach me. A cave of brown and green, no. As Luk sees it as a rainbow for God's promise to Noah and us and a red door because "Jesus was bleeding on the cross."  Show it, see it, let it engulf you. To have the child-like mind is to see the beauty in it.

 Our Jesus

As I take out the white, no. As I take out the purple, no. Yellow! Luk shares, "Jesus is the light!" Speechless... the beauty of his mind, his understanding.

The Scene

Purple: Mary Magdelene

Pink: Mary, his mother

Blue: disciple

Orange: disciple

Green: Roman Guard

He is sure of how he wants it. 

God is sure of how he wants HIS story.

He has it all working for HIS divine plan. 

I am broken. I am a broken sinner that deserves hell. Yet, He came for me. He bleed for me. I am washed in His blood covered and protected from the wrath of God because I know HIS truth. I accept it. I want it. He gave and continues to give me that drive. Through glorifying His Father I am cleansed.

I am HIS. 

I have been REDEEMED!

Generation iY

I subscribe to iMOM. This is the female version of All Pro Dad, which are branches of Tony Dungy's Family First. All this to say that there was an article written by Dr. Tim Elmore called Three Lies That Can Keep Your Child Stuck in Adolescence. Being with Reson and dealing with the youth of today and raising two boys of my own I wasn't too sure about some of things he wrote. 

Here are the three lies:

Lie #1: "You Can Be Anything You Want to Be."

Lie #2: "It's Your Choice."

Lie #3: "You Are Special."

If you want to read the explanations that he states click on the link above, but I had some things that I wanted to say about it. I get stereotyped because I am a young mom. I married right out of high school, which in today's mindset means you WILL get divorced. Thankfully, we have been married going on 8 years and been together for over eleven years. So, I'm not a fan of stereotypes. Now, I have the your a young mom, which has been turned into you shouldn't be your kids' friend. There is a simple truth to all this that gets over looked and that is, I follow the main handbook on my ideas of marriage and parenting, the Bible. So, it doesn't matter my age. I seek truth. 

I post that because it is important to see my standard, my foundation for my train of thought with this article. Did I like it? Yes and No. I thought it was too cut and dry. 

The fact is we could continue this article with anything can be lie and truth with these ideas. 

Lie #1: The idea behind this argument is that not everyone should try out for American Idol because they don't have the gift of signing.  If I look at it like that yes, but this is a bit of stretch. Just because a person is not a strong enough to be America's Idol (which I wouldn't want to be) doesn't mean that they can't be a vital part of a choir as a support branch. I know that there are parents that do flat out lie and say you sing as beautiful as Celine Dion, and yes that can be a lie. However, I don't want my children to think that they don't have a singing voice and that stops them from worshiping God with song. If our goal in life is to live the "American Dream" then I would say, "Your voice is just plain bad, let's look at an alternative." Now, if my goal in life is the sole (soul) purpose of praising God then sing away! 

Lie #2: I do believe that there is no gray area! I would say this is the lie I agree with most. There is a way to give choice and not be giving away your parental stance. I see this one the most working as a Youth Pastor's wife. I want to see my boy/girlfriend alone in my room, okay. I want to talk with them on the phone until all hours of the night. Where are the boundaries? I use cell phones as a prime example because not only with Reson being a Youth Pastor, but he works for a cell phone company. There are elementary school students with full access cell phones. What! They have all the text messaging, camera, website usage they want. I don't understand it. As Christians, we are not to be stumbling blocks to others, this should be for our children as well. How do we protect our child from pornography or sexual content when we allow full access to it everywhere they go? This would also go hand-in-hand with kids and the teaching of modesty. Parents, don't dress your girls like tramps is a great article from a non-Christian perspective. If looking at not so "serious" topics, there are boundaries still to be made. For example, Breakfast time, I let the boys make a choices, most of the time. Cereal, eggs, or toast with jelly. Lunch time, there is a choice of turkey, ham, or pb&j sandwiches. Dinner time = NO CHOICE! "But we must also help them learn the truth that not everything is open to discussion or debate. Sometimes there really is no choice, and kids will be better prepared for adult life if they understand this."

But as Granderson writes in the CNN article, "Friends bow to peer pressure. Parents say, "No, and that's the end of it." 

Lie #3: I would tell you to look at my response to the first one for my idea behind this one. My kids are special! Now, I wouldn't want them to become egotistical, but God knit them in my womb, He knows the number of hairs on their little heads. It designed them in HIS image, oh they are special! There are different definitions for special as far as Webster is concerned: unusual or better, esteemed, reserved... Again, what is the personal goal. If you are living the "American Dream" then this fits you for this article, but for me it doesn't. If raising my children as special because they are in the image of God that makes them humble, wise, men of truth, honor, above reproach, and the list goes on. No my children are not better (or more special) than our beautiful Compassion children, no they are all just as special because they are God's children!

I think Dr. Elmore meant well, but I do again think the article is too cut and dry. He does give clarity in his responses to people in the post, but I think it would have suited better to say these things in the article. I'm curious as to where his approach goes with his book, "Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future" Here are some of his rebuttals to the commentators.

"My hope in writing this article was to challenge parents to examine the underlying messages in these commonly-used phrases. I’m not suggesting that most parents intentionally mislead to their children. I’m just pointing out that these seemingly helpful phrases can turn into harmful statements when not balanced with the hard work of helping children develop an accurate picture of reality that exists outside the home.

As you say, we really do have a responsibility to be realistic with our children. I just want to challenge parents to balance encouragement with guidance. Children desperately need to discover their unique abilities that will ultimately allow them to reach their greatest potential."

"I too hope that parents who are challenged by this excerpt will take time to read the rest of the book. My end goal is not just to point out the challenges that this generation faces but to help us all work together towards solutions that will help them reach their potential. I truly believe that this generation has the potential to be the greatest generation but it will take a concentrated effort by all of us as parents, educators and leaders to guide them in overcoming the obstacles."

"I understand the strong reaction to calling these statements lies. I really don’t believe that most parents set out to intentionally mislead their children.

However, I do believe these seemingly helpful phrases can turn into harmful statements if not balanced with a clear picture of the real world kids face when they leave home. Unfortunately, it’s easy for most parents to give encouragement; yet sometimes hard to do the work of really helping children understand the reality of the world we live in. Leading our kids to this understanding is a process that must be pursued, consistently and intentionally, over time.

I agree with you that balance is the real key. All of us recognize the harmful effects of a child who is raised in an environment with nothing but discouragement. I’m just pointing out that a steady diet of nothing but affirmation can be just as debilitating in the long run if the child doesn’t mature and learn to handle adversity."

I would think that with reading his responses that we agree on the topic at hand, but again the approach to these "lies" are not lies, but truths that need to be looked at in a different mind set. Thanks my side and I'm stickin' to it. =D

 

For Kate (Part Two)

Well, it's done. 11 inches gone and it is being sent to Locks of Love tomorrow. Luk said he wants to grow his hair out, now... We will see how that goes, but I am not against.

Kate, I pray for you daily. I pray that your body is completely healed, and that through all that you will have an undeniable peace and joy as you travel this journey. May God give your parents strength, Godly wisdom, peace, and comfort as they make the decisions for you. Lord, put your hedge of protection over this beautiful family...

For Kate