Recently, I have had a new analogy for myself. It was a way to make Reson know just how much I valued the words of a wonderful sound Christian man Francis Chan is. Francis Chan is to me, what John Piper is to Mitch Landress. He is our pastor, and he loves John Piper. I have been a fan of Chan since Mitch's wife taught about his book "Crazy Love," however God has used him recently for my desire to find God's will in my life.
For Reson, he is trying to figure me out. I feel bad for him. My theme song at the moment, and probably the ENTIRE album, but I will put it down to one for the moment. It's Casting Crowns' "Until the Whole World Hears" album, the song is "To Know You."
To know you is never worry for my life, and
To know you is to never to give in or compromise
To know you is to want to tell the world about you
Cause I can't live without you
To know you is to hear your voice when you are calling
To know you is to catch my brother when he is falling
To know you is to feel the pain of the broken hearted
Cause they can't live with out you.
More than my next breath
More than life or death
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to ache for more than ordinary
To know you is to look beyond the temporary
To know you is believing that you will be enough
Cause there is no life without you
More than my next breath
More than life or death
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more
All this life could offer me, could not compare to you
Compare to you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you
More than my next breath
More than life or death
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more
Compared to you
Compared to you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you
Daily has been a challenge for to get to know God more, and what he wants for my life. The Lord has had some burning issues with me lately, and I know what they are. I'm not sure that I have been following what he wants. I have to be clear that I feel that I am doing what he wants from me, but HE WANTS MORE OUT OF ME! I think he wants that more out of everyone, but many of us ignore it!
I don't want to ignore it, I HATE ignoring it, but I don't know how to pursue what he wants for me.
You see, God was working on this conviction way before I knew he was going to. He started with embedding my family heritage in ministry. My grandfather a minister, and my grandmother a missionary. Then, about a month ago, I pushed some Youth curriculum to Reson, he ordered it. We watched a Francis Chan video in it, and I was floored. It was the battle God was putting in my heart. It's an emotional thing really. Reson was witnessing through Francis' video, MY battle. How frightening, for someone else to visual see this! I wanted to keep it a secret. I still tried after this, but then God hit me with another video. It was through another friend's blog...
I had to tell Reson. I have to do something in missions, and not just any missions. For some reason, God keeps throwing out Foreign missions. My mom asked, Why Foreign missions? I don't know. I just know that God has been throwing it at me, and I just feel that is the mission he has for me.
Francis was talking about not living comfortable and safe, to not hold onto the balance beam in our life performance, that when we sit on the beach with our little coffee and our Bible opened, there is WHOLE lost world out there that don't get this experience. OUCH!
He has downgraded his living, and recently announced that he needs to leave his church that he has been comfortably pastoring for 16 years!
Reson asked if a week or two on a trip would satisfy my urge, my craving... or will it just fuel it? I don't know, but I do know this... I want to know God on whole other level, I want Him to be enough, that nothing compares to Him that all other things are lost. I want need to step out and do some "crazy love" stuff. My problem comes in having the finances and opportunities. As Casting Crowns says in "At Your Feet," "Here at your feet, I lay my future down, all of my dreams, I give to you now, and I find peace!"
I'm listening God, when the door opens may my eyes stay clear focused on your call for my life!
Yikes, I just wrote all this for someone else to read.
2 comments:
Wow. I kinda know your feeling. Sunday, we had a missionary from Brazil (who was a member of our church when he lived here, but has been in Brazil for 8 years) come and talk to our Sunday school class. He just spoke of what he did, which was working on a college campus. It moved me more than any other speach from a missionary, and we have a lot at our church. Matt told me later that when the missionary was speaking, he had some kind of urge as well. It was very crazy for us to share what was going through our minds when the missionary was speaking because our thoughts were almost identical. Like you said, the oppurtunity is not before us yet but it is cooking in our minds. I will wait, as you will, for God to open that door. I also feel I need to become stronger in the Word before I go to share it. Sorry for such a long comment. More power to you! I have some very dear friends in the Pacific Rim that are missionaries. I miss them dearly but they have done so many wonderful things (even had their first baby over there)!! Please, keep us updated on this heart journey!
Great post Aislynn, and brave of you to share your heart's longing! I'll be praying for you as you seek out His plan. In the meantime, we're really glad God has you at Northside:) Excited to see how God uses you and your family now and in the future!
BTW Chan is going to be at the Southern Baptist Convention this summer in Orlando:)
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